The Magpie and the Librarian: Making sense of AuDHD

Ask someone with AuDHD to describe their inner life and, sooner or later, you'll hear about a meeting. There's always a meeting. And the two people who run it cannot stand each other.

One of them wants to abandon the current task immediately and go learn the bagpipes. The other has already colour-coded a seventeen-tab spreadsheet about the task and would like everyone to please sit down and follow the agenda.

As a clinician, this is the tension I see again and again. Let's talk about it.

So what actually is AuDHD?

AuDHD is the (unofficial but very widely used) community term for being autistic and having ADHD at the same time. Not autism with a sprinkle of distractibility. Not ADHD with a few quirks. Two whole neurotypes sharing one nervous system, often wanting completely opposite things about the same decision, at the same moment.

The truth is that this combo is very common. Depending on the study, somewhere around half to two-thirds of autistic people also show significant ADHD traits and one 2025 study found roughly 45% of adults with ADHD showed significant autistic traits too. Yet the number of people who formally get both labels is tiny by comparison.

Part of the reason for this is that before the DSM-5 arrived in 2013, clinicians technically weren't even allowed to diagnose both together. You were autistic or you had ADHD. Pick a lane. A lot of people ended up feeling half-understood because there was no word that explained the gap.

And although there still isn’t full consensus, it does appear to be its own thing - not just two diagnoses stapled together. A 2025 neuroimaging study found people with co-occurring autism and ADHD show their own distinct patterns of brain structure and connectivity - a unique profile, not simple arithmetic.

Meet the committee

Two members of staff are involved.

The Magpie is the ADHD. The Magpie is delighted by everything. Ooh, shiny. Ooh, a new hobby. Ooh, what if we started a podcast tonight? Its attention is a torch swinging round in a dark room, occasionally landing on something genuinely brilliant nobody else would have looked at. The Magpie thinks in the world of opportunity and possibility. It’s the reason there are nine half-finished projects and one extremely finished one done in a single 14-hour stint.

The Librarian is the autism. The Librarian wants the system intact. Same desk, same mug, same route, same order of operations. It thinks in straight, logical lines - step one, then step two, no skipping and gets deeply happy when something is correct, complete and catalogued. The Librarian can hold a complicated structure in mind for hours without dropping a thread. It also files a formal complaint when the Magpie redecorates without permission.

The two are built for different work. The Librarian thrives on the linear and systematic - coding, engineering, law, accountancy, languages - the towers you build one careful brick at a time. The Magpie thrives on generating ten ideas from one prompt, spotting connections and thinking fast when the building is on fire. So you can see the inner tension when these two co-exist.

When the two go to war

The truly exhausting moments of AuDHD don’t necessarily come from autism or ADHD alone. They're the negotiation between the two.

You crave novelty but can't cope with the disruption novelty causes. You start an exciting project - Magpie, thrilled – but then you need to do it perfectly to appease the Librarian. You're under-stimulated and over-stimulated in the same ten minutes, bored and overwhelmed.

Generic advice often fails here because it is generally written for one neurotype and what helps one committee member destabilises the other. "Just build a strict routine" - the Magpie is bored by Wednesday. "Just go with the flow" - the Librarian files for emotional bankruptcy.

This is also why so many AuDHD adults hit a wall. It's the cost of refereeing an internal turf war while also masking both neurotypes at once.

Plot twist: they're secretly a dream team

While we can acknowledge the frustration, it’s equally important to see the silver lining. When the Magpie and the Librarian stop fighting and start collaborating, you get something single neurotypes simply don’t have: range.

The Magpie throws out a wild, lateral idea. The Librarian catches it, stress-tests it and builds the rigorous system to make it possible. Multidirectional thinking plus deep focus. The spark and the scaffolding.

Strengths-based research on AuDHD describes exactly this - a capacity for both creative exploration and structured, linear thinking that underpins a broad range of skill sets. A neurotype with checks and balances that prevents leaning too far in one direction and is capable of amazing things.

How to referee the committee

You can't fire either member of staff. But you can get much better at chairing the meeting.

1.      Name them. Giving each drive a character externalises the tug-of-war and helps you to recognise who is in charge. "What's wrong with me, why can't I just decide" becomes "ah, the Magpie and the Librarian want different things again."

2.      Spot the early-warning signs. The conflict may initially be felt in the body. That sense of being restless and rigid at the same time, itching to move away from the exact thing you can't bring yourself to leave. That feeling is the signal to ask: which one's upset and what do they actually need?

3.      Build routines that include anchors and flexibility. This keeps both the Magpie and Librarian happy. For example, fixed anchors might include the same wake time and morning ritual but an unstructured afternoon block.

4.      Feed both nervous systems to meet the different needs. Soft fabric and a rocking chair for the Librarian alongside dancing and novelty for the Magpie.

5.      Pull up a third chair - yours. The goal is to create space for the curious wise mind who can sit at the head of the table and say, "Okay, Magpie, you can have the new project but the Librarian gets to design how we run it."

Parting Thoughts

The Magpie and the Librarian may never fully agree and that’s OK. Together they bring balance. The aim is to harness the strengths of both - be the one who dreams up the new initiative and the one who builds it properly.

Two drivers, one steering wheel.

Here’s to the beauty and strength of a life with AUDHD!

Linda

Sources & further reading

• National Geographic "Scientists are starting to understand how autism and ADHD can overlap" (2026): prevalence, the 45% figure, the 2025 neuroimaging work.

• American Psychiatric Association "When Autism and ADHD Occur Together": conflicting-trait examples.

• Autistica "ADHD and autism": the internal struggle between competing traits.

• The Conversation - Tamara May, "What is AuDHD? 5 important things to know."

• Psychology Today - "Understanding Strengths With Coexisting Autism and ADHD": the strengths-based view.

A note: AuDHD is a community term, not a formal stand-alone diagnosis and everything above describes general tendencies, not rules. This is for understanding and education only not a substitute for assessment or professional support.